Human Emotions
by serasmiwa
Summary: Seras is constantly missing her dreams and emotions from when she was human, but maybe the Captain is the key for her to start feeling again. PxS. Rated M for later Sexual Content.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Hellsing Characters, this FanFic is purely a work from my imagination.**

_Please comment, this is my first story that i get published._

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><p><strong>CHAPTER I - Dreaming of Something…Anything….<strong>

I no longer had any dreams, it was as if i went to bed and woke up five minutes later. Before Alucard saved me I used to dream a lot, however, in a way, I was trying to run away from them, the same nightmare over and over again, the same thing playing in my mind like a broke down record, my family's death… a scary thought that now i even relish.

How sad when you realize that you no longer have to run, is sad trying to understand every single thing that happens to me, is sad to know that i no longer feel anything but lust and hunger.

Quietly i woke up, opened my eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, hanging my head as i looked at my tights, entranced at how much pale they look now, for a moment not listening to anything but my own breathing, closing my eyes for a second and trying to dream, or at least feel something else, something new.

In a moments notice i felt something coming behind me, opened my eyes as my head shifted up quickly moving my body in a second to the other side of the room where my knife was located taking it out and turning to face the mysterious presence, realizing it's simply the Captain.

"What are you doing here Captain!" I shouted at him as i put away my knife "I could have killed you, you stupid Geese."

"Oh mignonette, mignonette…" he said in his french accent as he walked towards me locking his gaze on mine, as she stands in front of me and places his index and middle finger under my chin forcing my eyes to look at him "… it would take you much more than a knife to kill this Geese."

With a sudden movement from my hand i pushed his away from my chin "Don't touch me…" turning around to grab a new uniform tossing it to the bed as i turn to the Captain again and face him "Could you please leave at once? I have to get ready and go to have breakfast"

The Captain looked at me, only this time his eyes were not locked on mine, but on my body, i started to get angry and shifted over behind him to pull him from his overcoat and push him out of my room "I said Get Out!"

The Captain tried to stop me from slamming the door, but in the end he went away; I changed into my new uniform and got out, walking down the dark hallway, slightly illuminated only by a few dim candle light on the walls, giving room for darkness to take over light. As i was about to exit the dungeons i saw at the top of the stairs a very familiar shape… that long braid that casted a shadow down the stairs and the smell of those french cigars which i hated deeply; walking tall i went up and passed him quickly not even giving him the pleasure of a look.

I could sense him walking behind me, silently and at a safe distance, arriving to the dinning hall i saw Walter on the door and smiled at him "Good Morning Walter" said to him in sweet voice and with a smile on my face.

"Good Morning, Miss Seras…" his gaze moved a bit up and nodded at the french man behind me "…and good morning Captain" the captain stopped besides me and nodded back at Walter answering in french in a very cold way "Bonjour, Walter"

Walter opened the door and allowed us to get inside, i could see a table, with the typical meal waiting for us, only this time something was different, it looked as if i was not going to eat alone, a place had been set next to me.

"Bernadotte… are you planning on eating with me today by any chance?" I asked turning to him giving him a very angry look as i saw a smirk draw on his face "Oui, ma petite Mignonette"

For the duration of the meal i felt uncomfortable, this was something i had never experienced before, i have to say i was happy to be feeling something else besides anger and lust, it felt different, but lead me to keep wondering why this was happening… Complete mystery to me.

As i finished the meal, i placed down the spoon and grabbed my napkin, but before i could even raise it to my lips i felt the Captain moving and in a moment i found myself being kissed by him, his lips gracing on mine as i naturally moved, i moved my hand and felt the necessity to slap him hard, but that urge slowly fell flat as i gave into his kiss, feeling his tongue exploring mine, smiling a bit but suddenly finding myself puzzled and scared, finally pushing him away and running off the room closing the door behind me, feeling my breathing go faster as a strange warm feeling ran down my cheeks as i moved my hand to it realizing i was crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Hellsing Characters, this FanFic is purely a work from my imagination.**

_Please comment, this is my first story that i get published._

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><p><strong>CHAPTER II - Feelings...<strong>

I went to my room and started thinking about what had happened a few moments before, i couldn't understand what has happened; i could still feel my body shaking and the tears on my cheek drying.

It scared me… "What had come over me?" i kept wondering to myself, saying it out loud as i would walk to the bed and sit on it's edge, fixating my eyes on my hands, looking at them closely, noticing the slight shake they still had, the more i thought about it, the more it made me second doubt myself.

"The Captain isn't the first one to try to flirt with me" I kept telling myself, as if i was talking to my conscience "and he certainly not the only one that had tried to kiss me" I kept talking, thinking to myself about my situation in the Hellsing army "being an only woman in an army filled with mercenaries that kind of behavior was not foreign to me; I am quite sure that if i wasn't a vampire they would have already attempted something else" And then the frightful questions i was trying to avoid came to my mind "But why him? why now? What makes the Captain any different from any other man that has ever tried what only he could achieve?"

I finally decided to calm myself down laying down on the bed and closing my eyes as i placed my forearm on top of my eyes, closing them… feeling the weight of my own arm on top of my eyes, loosing conscience slowly.

Just as i thought i was waking up i found myself dreaming of the Captain, his kiss, his touch, his lips, how he felt, and how i felt…. I woke up in a cold sweat, i couldn't believe what just happened, ever since i turned into a vampire i haven't been able to sleep, but just now i had a dream, of him, of his whole self, his lips, his breath, his everything.

I decided to get out of my room, walking that dark hallway again, standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at them the image had changed, there was no shadow, no smell of his french cigars, no nothing, just the cold shine of the moon illuminating the path of the stairs.

I sensed something behind me and turned around, my Master Alucard was facing me, his tall figure and pale skin standing tall in front of me as she bent over a bit to have his face in front of me… he moved his hands and took off his glasses.

He stood silent looking at my face before he finally spoke "So, you have dreamt huh, police girl?" My eyes widened as he spoke those words, how could Master know that i have had a dream finally… "I know everything about you the moment it happens, police girl" he said interrupting my thoughts.

"Police girl, you are my minion, my blood runs in your blood, you are a part of me as i am part of you, you can read my thoughts as i can read yours" He keeps talking and explaining as he placed his glasses back on and sat on the stairs letting the moonlight shine over him "Dreaming is a luxury for vampires…" He kept explaining. "However, we don't dream, we recall on the human emotions that from time to time come over us, understand what i am telling you Police Girl?" he said as he looked at me, waiting on my answer.

"Yes Master, I understand what you are telling me, but why him? That's what i don't get." Alucard smirked at me as he started to fade into the darkness, i could hear his thoughts inside my mind "You will have to find out why he cause those feelings in you, go find it out Police girl."


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Hellsing Characters, this FanFic is purely a work from my imagination.**

_Please comment, this is my first story that i get published._

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><p><strong>CHAPTER III - Taking the Step...<strong>

I was still puzzled, and i felt the desire to simply not try to find out, go back to my room, lay on the bed and keep trying to dream of something else that was not the Captain, yet my body and my mind wanted to know more, so i took a step forward and didn't looked back.

I went through the grand foyer of the Hellsing mansion and left through the main door, walking through the woods that divided the Hellsing mansion from the barracks where the Wild Geese were living.

Before I was even near the building I could hear how the men were laughing and singing songs in french and some other languages that i still could not distinguish, it sounded like fun and made me smiled; for a moment, I found myself overwhelmed with the feeling that being a vampire made me miss out on a lot of things that I used to do while I was human, but then I started remembering all the amazing things I could do now that I was a vampire.

Finally, I arrived at the main door of the barracks, sighing a bit, and feeling extremely scared; never before have i felt this, this overwhelming feeling of being about to do something that I may regret forever, but at the same time, this feeling was as if i actually wanted to get some answers, just like Master told me.

I knocked on the wooden door and suddenly i could hear one of those lively voices approaching the door, he was laughing hard, talking in a very sexy tone, my body started to shiver, but i was not backing down; the door suddenly opened and i saw that figure i knew so well.

"Mignonette…" he said in his deep voice, my gaze locked in his eyes as i noticed the expression of surprise on his face, as slight smirk on his face started to form, he rested his right shoulder against the frame of the big wooden door as he pulled out of his pocket a package of this french cigars, placed one in his mouth and lit it up, putting the cigar package back in his army pockets. "Que C'est que je jeux faire par toi ma petite mignonette?" I looked at him and answered "I don't speak french, but i would love to have a word with you, there is something i would like to know" the Captain pushed the door and gave me a slight gesture as if he was telling me to come inside.

I came inside and waited for the Captain to close the wooden door, he started walking through the long hallway that the building had; we stopped in front of a door, he turned to me and said "wait here mignonette, i need to resolve something first" He entered the room and as i waited outside i could hear his voice speaking in french to the geese and all of a sudden the cheering turned into silence and as the lights in the room went out, he came outside, looked at me and grabbed my hand, feeling an instant chill going down my spine.

He moved, pulling me by the hand to the stairs, going up to the third floor where he had one of the rooms. I realized that he was the only one living in that floor, as all of the other rooms were wide open and were empty, made me recall that night when the Valentine's had attacked and killed all my old friends, finally we arrived to the last room, i looked at the plaque besides it "Captain Bernadette" i said in a whisper.

The Captain let my hand go and opened the door, like any good french man, he bowed down and signaled me to get inside, as i was going in he placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a bit; i could hear the door as he closed it and placed the lock on the door, in that moment, my body started to feel scared.


End file.
